As many, many others I, too, am in the middle of reflection. I reflect on the past 12 months; on happy days, sad days, surprising days and boring days.
I remember that I wanted to start this year with great news and maybe some happy tears but I was thoroughly disappointed. My fiancé and I broke the news of our engagement to our parents on New Year’s Day. We had a table booked in our favorite restaurant, everybody was happy with their food and the conversations were light but funny. The news of our engagement broke this atmosphere. My future father-in-law was happy, as was my mother’s boyfriend. My future mother-in-law was disappointed that we had waited to tell them and that she didn’t know of my fiancé’s intention to propose. But she, too, regained her composure well and we talked a little about what the perfect wedding would look like. It was my mother that, to this day, still isn’t happy about the “old-fashioned and overdone way” in which we want to spend our future. I know that my father would have been very happy and would have told the whole village that a wedding was closer than ever. I’m sad that I can’t seem to find a way to start a conversation about my wedding with my mother.
I’m also very sad about the fact that I can’t talk about it with my future mother-in-law as she passed away suddenly without a sign of warning. Yet again someone was ripped away from our family picture and we’ll have to meet all our milestones with yet another parent. I was in hospital myself, when I received the news. Due to stress and my already high blood-pressure I almost suffered a heart attack and had to be submitted in the middle of my final stage of training.
On a brighter note, I finally and officially finished my training and I’m now working as a school assistant for a 14 year old autistic boy. This job is not as fulfilling as I hoped it would be, but it is much better on my medical condition, I don’t work as many hours and I am finally working with people that respect me and my training. It is very difficult for this boy to get comfortable around me, as he hoped that his parents wouldn’t find someone suitable for this job. And it is very difficult for me to work with him in a class that he doesn’t want to know about his special need for assistance and about him being autistic. Thankfully puberty didn’t hit those boys and girls hard, yet, and there is still hope for all of us. *lol* I’m just forever thankful to be away from my narrow-minded teachers and all that stress that they put on me and my classmates. I am also very lucky to have found a job in that small field of school assistance with a specialty on autism.
This year I have tried to get reconnected to dancing and I attended some Chairs&Burlesque workshops. They have been fun but I’m still not hooked. As writing was a huge difficulty for me, because of my hand injury last year, I tried to express myself through a video blog on Youtube. I’ll have it removed shortly after I upload this post and I’ll connect these two medias in the future, as I’m still having problems typing. My internet journey brought me to Twitter, Tumblr and Instagram. Twitter I found to be insufferable. Tumblr is a lot of fun, but it’s spoiling almost all my favorite TV shows and movies, so I’ll have to stop using it. I wasn’t sure about Instagram, because it’s such a “Hipster” thing and I felt too old to use it. But after I downloaded this App I discovered that I was just led by prejudice and it is an easy and fun way to celebrate and share those big and little things in life with complete strangers AND friends. And I like everything that is easy in technology.
Then, last month, I revisited my last post on this blog. I’ll have my New Year’s Resolution post for 2015 uploaded for New Year’s Day. Let me just say: I have been a good girl this year and I’m very motivated to continue to be one next year.
I hope you guys had an amazing year and I’d like to say THANK YOU all for letting me and others be part of your life through blogging.
I will remember the year 2014 as a journey. A journey to very different destinations with high waters, thunderstorms but also rainbows and new discoveries. And even though I couldn’t write a book about it, a sketch won’t do either.